Rod and myself were called into headquarters of SBI and fired as a result of the horrific accident we were both victims of. The big cone headed boss was very critical of Rods driving skills ... “you have no business operating a sperm tanker” Rod is talented driver, and will resume his driving career soon, next time you see a tanker go by look for Rod behind the wheel. I was accused of paving the way for the biggest environmental disaster in BC, estimating there will be in excess of 36000 “hickens” born as a result of the cross fertilization caused in the accident. (a hicken appears anatomically correct as regular human but has small extra fluffy chicken feathers where pubic hair would normally be found) After leaving SBI headquarters we both hit the bottle pretty hard for a week or so, Rod landed a new job drivin truck and I have decided its time to resume training again, with a come back camp soon.

Tanker and the banker

I think the easiest way to let everyone know what has been happening with me lately is to insert part of a recent press release
“After an extensive candidate search spanning the globe, Sperm Bank International (SBI) has appointed Mack Daddy to the position of Chief Operating Officer and executive VP responsible for fluid management, and home pickup.” Daddy a native of Victoria BC possesses extensive knowledge in fluid dynamics, and fluid management. We feel he is the type of leader that will create prominent global presence for the bank. “
Changes I have instituted immediately are: Home pickup, makes donations just a phone call away. Minimal amount of “pop ups” on the website. Monthly bonus for largest donors. Great managers realize the value of really understanding what happens in day to day operations, so I decided to spend a day in the field. Image “B” is the picture of a driver (Rod) that I job shadowed. He is clearly ready to start his day! The first pickup was from our top donator, Mr. Meeoff (picture “A”). Upon arrival at his home, he introduced himself and insisted I call him by his first name Jack. Without such generous donators we simply couldn’t survive. We were on our way to the second stop and received a call from Jack, he had another donation already! Now I understood why he is the top donator. The truck (picture “c”) was now full and ready for return to headquarters, on the way back we were following an egg truck when without warning it rolled over spilling eggs everywhere. Rod tried franticly to avoid the accident but to no avail, our truck flipped on the roof as the tank split open. It was a miracle that we did not perish in this horrific accident thanks to our seatbelts.
Until next time....... Safety first kids!!

the closing remarks

Honey I’m home!! Its great to be home. The last few days at the camp were BUSY. I cranked out the big 4hr ride on Sat, had a nap and then V took me out for a massive East Indian dinner. Sunday AM a 1.5 hr run, I almost had to wear the “mudflap” for this one but things worked out. My medical team wanted to meet and go over the results of the tests performed earlier in the camp. All results were presented and discussed vo2, co2 o2 bo2, lactate, paptate, prostate, threshold...everything! The only recommendation was that I keep a close “eye” on the prostate, my reply was, thats why I have the extra one right next to it. I have always found Human anatomy absolutely fascinating.
After the meeting Veronica dropped me off at the airport. My flight was delayed because the airplane had a flat tire and the pilot was having trouble finding the jack, that turned out to be a good thing because the next problem was with a suspicious smell coming out of my bikebox. I explained to the security personnel, after two weeks of training and no washing machine it was just my clothes and shoes, they didn’t buy it. Out comes the dog, and lid off the bike box, after three guards passed out, the remaining four were dry heaving, while the dog frolicked around the airport with my shorts in his mouth. Eventually the flight was under way, and I arrived home. In my next post I will update on my new role with the spermbank.

until then keep your stick on the ice
m

This is kinda embarassing!

Its been a few days since my last post ....I have been givin er’ pretty hard as the camp comes to a close on Sunday. The focus lately has been speed, and this doesn’t come without a risk. I have experienced some pain and a lump in the lower abdomen (picture attached) I decided to seek an opinion from a professional -outside of mainstream medicine. Dr Sheppard a local veterinarian agreed to examine me. Upon arrival at the office everyone was extra nice and friendly to me they gave me cookies and patted my head, and all told me what a good boy I was. Being nervous I needed to go bathroom, they took me out on the lawn and I had bigggg #2, some unkind people walking by snickered and pointed, but the people from the clinic just patted my head and took me inside. Dr Sheppard examined my paws, felt my nose, and looked in my eyes, and tried to take my temp. (that was a NO-GO!) then examined the lump. At first she thought it may be a hernia from the “incident” at the bank, but discovered it was some socks stuck in by pants, I will be speaking with the dry cleaners about this.
Until next time.....its not what ya got, but how you use it....givvvvver!
m

Testing facility

During my last few workouts I have felt the hard miles starting to get me really fit. As the season progresses degenerative changes within the muscles, and necrosis occur with macrophages and neutrophils being present in the damaged muscle cells, and surrounding interstial tissue, this indicates success of the scientifically, and proprietary design of my training program.
Today was the first of six yearly fitness tests that will take place in the world renowned testing facility, so advanced the location can not be publicly revealed. It was an un nerving feeling as the sports medicine team (15 members) fitted me with the most sophisticated equipment to ever be used on a human. The test was severe, as you may notice by the sweat pouring off my exhausted body. The results of the test are undergoing the analysis of my dedicate medical team, and I will report back soon. I am sorry for such a short post today but testing is so demanding I am only able to sleep afterwards
Tomorrows training will not be as sophisticated, firewood loading and trainer workout.
Until next time...help control the pet population, and have your pet spayed or nuetered

Deep Fried in the Double Wide!!

The ride today was 4hrs, the last part was harder & faster to simulate race type efforts. It was a smaller group today , it really allows for deep intellectual conversation, we had a new guy along, don’t know his name but "Orange guy" seemed to work. After the ride homesickness started to set in a little bit, I conversed the topic with my homestay chaperone Veronica, she suggested I should lay around in my underwear and drink beer for the rest of the day. After about 4 beer and a visit from the pizza guy, I noted some activity in the kitchen Veronica was preparing a four course deep fried homestyle feast!! First course deep fried taquitos, second course deep fried chimichangas, third course deep fried chicken nuggets all courses followed by a beer & bbq chips to cleanse the palette. All the food caused me to fall asleep.....shortly thereafter a LARGE explosion occurred while V was deep frying the fourth course ( A Turkey) I was struck in the head with a drumstick causing a laceration, broken glasses and severely greasy hair, luckily no brain damage. On a more positive note I received a formal apology from senior officials at the bank regarding the mix up earlier in the week.

until next time!
m

A BIG dump.........................................run

The past two days have been steady, predictable and hassle free training, no weirdness or strange things have happened. A couple of good outdoor rides with just the odd weirdo trying to have a race with me. I swallowed a fair bit of water on the last few swims and have been waiting for the Gastro Intestinal symptoms to appear, but no sign yet. Uncle Drew at the pool says hi to everyone, and is quite excited about some new PeterPan movies he recently acquired. As you may have noticed in the title I loaded the truck with a lot of junk laying around the yard and took it to the dump, it was a full load. Thats it....train hard and remember 80% of life is just showing up

A big day

Training has been progressing at an incredible pace, I am feeling stronger by the day. Every time I attend another camp it amazes me how just being away from the daily distractions can really help spring board my fitness level to a new level. I have been trying to work on my race pace this year and this mornings session was great. Veronica warmed the truck up this morning for a motor pacing session that had us leaving at 5am As we crested the Malahat summit at about 620am the sunrise was breathtaking, moments like this are worth the months of lonely travel during my grueling season. From Duncan to Nanaimo was some tempo work, mid 40s for speed HR 145. Up to Courtney next, then up Mt Washington. Things started feeling pretty good near the top but I found the traffic was slowing me down a little. On the drive back I decided to stop at a sperm bank and make a sale to raise some extra $$ for training supplies. The lady at the counter started screaming , and a guard tackled me, I managed to break the hand cuffs off and squirm free….while hustling out I realized the sign on the building said Scotiabank not spermbank....an honest mistake didnt justify the horrific treatment I endured. Remember folks never sweat the small stuff!

My box has been tampered with!

My luggage has finally arrived, while assembling my 99 Specialized Alez I noted some drool marks on it, evidence that the customs guys (and maybe a dog) had been in my box. When you are on the road as much as I am you learn not to take things like this personally. With the bike assembled I did a nice trainer workout, staring at a garage door for 2 hours really helps with focus.
After the workout we laid our new kitchen floor.....three hours of crawling around on hands and knees, smelling glue, and bickering the job is done and looks great. Being able to crawl for three hours, is an important “back up discipline” for an athlete of my stature, no matter how tough things get on race day I know it’s possible for me to crawl about 20kms, how many other competitors can make this statement?
Todays training will be a 1 hr run, through the Panama Flats, this is a local potato field with a deep history in our family. Almost all vehicles owned by our family have been stuck in this muddy field at one time or another, my sister Pam was particularly bad for this.

Here I am at the camp where I will train for the next 2 weeks! The day started early with a 10am flight, no real issues other than my luggage and bike box being lost. The lady hosting me for the homestay picked me up at the airport and seems really nice her name is Veronica . We went directly to WalMart to get me some new undershorts, toothbrush, and other things to tide me over until my luggage arrives. When I arrived to my new home Veronica prepared me a nice snack of Chimichangas and Coke, I am just getting ready for a nap and will swim tonite with a local masters group that Veronica belongs to.

Almost time to leave

Hi everyone I am just getting ready for the first ever Po People training camp. Everyone else, has gone to Hawaii to train, I am headed off to somewhere not quite as exclusive. Follow along in the days to come. I will try and post everyday but its going to be a busy camp. My flight leaves tommorrow so I have to go pack up all my training gear now